they need to just BURY HIM!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
