Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
