i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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