ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
