everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
