why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
