good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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