OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i need an iv and a liver transplant
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
