Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
