We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
