She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
