You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
