I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
What drink are we having for lunch?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
