if i can run in heels then i can drive
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
