And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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