i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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