he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
