let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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