omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
