The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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