Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
