I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
