Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
