am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
It's never too late to be topless.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
