Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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