dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Still dying that you shit outside
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
