The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
