A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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