I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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