Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
