I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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