He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
