omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i can't believe i had my finger in that
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
