Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
