drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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