His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
