Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Jerry, you need to find god
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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