you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Text me some of your sweat
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
