i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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