there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
