with your own penis?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
