i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
