I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
