Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
