Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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