I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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