He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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