My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
