She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
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