Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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