I'm going to jail i love you
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
