I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
